love makes seman taste better
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
