i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
