I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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