we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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