Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
