I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
