I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have demons in me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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