The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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