There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
