It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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