Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
