so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
