I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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