If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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