I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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