He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
