she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
