Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
