Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
