Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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