You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
