im drinking this country out of the recession.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm too high and old for this...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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