Its about making memories worth repressing
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
