There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
