Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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