Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
