Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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