How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
