The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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