p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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