Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize