dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
