I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize