the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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