I'm so fucking centered right now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
