Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
