Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
