I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
