I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
