Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
