office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
