she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
