Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
