I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
