I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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