at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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