I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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