just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
