Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
