TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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