I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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