did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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