I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
