But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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