Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
