He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I wear drunk well.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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