Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize